Well, they’re gone. They went home and my mom is gone for work until Wednesday. That gives me roughly three days to decompress. Today is also the last day of my break and I return to my normal school routine tomorrow. I’m not ready.
Saturday and yesterday were the absolute worst of this whole thing. I have been insulted by family before in many different ways, so it wasn’t at all shocking. I also could have sworn my grandmother knew I didn’t believe in religion; I don’t believe in “God” or any higher power, an afterlife, or anything remotely like any of that. She went on a tirade about how I’m a disappoint and wasn’t raised like that. She also went as far as saying that I’m ruining my daughter’s life by raising her without religion. I know I’ve mentioned many times why. She continued to say that if I let “God” into my life, “he’ll” send me a good man and “cure me” of my lesbianism. Seriously!? There’s no sense in trying to argue with someone who thinks Trump is the next prophet and that all homosexuals need to have children taken away from them, registered as sex offenders, and placed in camps away from “normal society”.
The amount of disrespect is staggering. In the evenings, there were people over…lots of people…and they were so rude. The more they drank, the louder they became until they were shouting to talk over each other. Nevermind that there was a five year old trying sleep right above them. There was a little boy here who isn’t much older than my daughter and he was an asshole. Luckily his mother disciplined him. He was so rude to my daughter and called her weird, played the piano while my daughter was trying to sleep, and when I came back downstairs after getting her down, he was on my laptop playing my game and destroyed the building I had spent all evening creating. I absolutely HATE it when people touch my laptop, especially without my permission. Luckily I had a save that undid everything he messed up and his mother yelled at him for touching something that wasn’t his without permission. She was embarrassed, I could tell, and she left with her son, yelling at him for his behavior. Shortly after that, my drunk grandfather came in the living room and told me dinner was done. He watched me make my food earlier and knows I don’t eat meat, I haven’t for fifteen years, and yet every time I see him, he tries making me eat meat. Then he whined that I wasn’t visiting with everyone and that I was being a “typical liberal scum” by separating myself. I have absolutely nothing to say to any of those people that won’t end in a headache. I have nothing in common with any of them and I have no interest in watching them drink and whine. I just ignored him and continued playing my game until all the guests left and those staying passed out.
This morning, my uncle and grandfather had already left before I came downstairs. My grandmother and mother were downstairs getting everything ready before they left for the airport. I didn’t really say much, I couldn’t. It feels like I have shards of glass in my throat and talking hurts. Swallowing hurts. I can barely move too, my joints feel swollen and my bones feel so heavy. My mouth hurts too and I think it’s because I was sleeping with my jaw clenched…which is a habit that is becoming all too common. I have broken blood vessels all over my chest and I think it’s from the stress and anxiety from this past week. I’m a mess.
I’m not really going to do much today, still unsure if I’m even going to change my clothes. I do have to get milk and eggs, but I might just wait to do that tomorrow. I want to wash my bedding, but the water pressure is so low, I’m not sure I even can.